Can You Appreciate The Wind?

I do not know why but I feel so fucking frusterated with life.

I am so stressed with my job and I am sick of wasting my life on worthless Red Bull - Fuck that.

I am sick and tired of feeling worthless because of other people (like I have a disease or something). Why do Christians feel like they can make people feel like shit? I do not get it. I am NEVER going to be good enough for them, for you. Where is the grace I so desperately need?

I am sick and tired of never finding any time to be alone with homegirl (if you know me you will know who) - I want to get to know her, the real her when no one else is around. The tiny glimpses I have seen have blown me away. I do not want to DTR with her - Fuck that. I just want to spend time with her and talk with her and just be with her in the same room. I feel so peaceful with her, when I talk with her - I have never found that before. Regardless of all my sappy bullshit, who knows if she feels the same.

I want to be rid of my Crohn's disease that fucks me up in so many ways - the flare-ups that are so much fun almost destroy my self-image, making me start over time and time again. I do not want advice, I just want someone to listen without judging me for saying the
word FUCK, without looking at me differently because I show my flaws and try to be real.

LISTEN:

I'm tired of being what you want me to be
Feeling so faithless lost under the surface
Don't know what you're expecting of me
Put under the pressure of walking in your shoes
Every step that I take is another mistake to you

I've become so numb I can't feel you there
I've become so tired so much more aware
I'm becoming this all I want to do
Is be more like me and be less like you